I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
