I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
