I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
