I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
