She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
