Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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