that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
