I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
