I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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