She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
