if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
this is an emotional support booty call
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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