...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
