too bad you live with your parents still
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
