I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
