so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
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