Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize