billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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