no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
