yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
