I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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