R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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