By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
