lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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