..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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