Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I will pee on everything he values.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize