i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
