Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
