It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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