That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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