Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
