I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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