My first STD was from a foam party
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
