Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
