yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
