Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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