Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
