you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
