you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
