I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
