i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Bring me that man meat
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
