Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
where are my pants?
in the oven.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
