i was rollin on her like bob the builder
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
