i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
