I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
