can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
