life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
do herpes really smell.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize