So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He better not be in your backpack
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
