i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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