I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
