So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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