You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
