sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
