watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
