Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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