Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
