so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
