dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
