I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
