Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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