Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
