Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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