3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
