I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
